hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
just found out that she named her cat after me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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