Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
