drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
