I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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