im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need to sanitize my soul.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
