I could have mohawked her pubes.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
