hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
3 2 1 whiskey
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize