At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
