ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I didn't notice because vodka
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
