Having a random hookup so left but love u
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
