HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
