he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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