How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
