he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
