is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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