walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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