I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I am naked and annoyed.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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