Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i came on her dog
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
