Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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