i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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