how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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