does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize