Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
