he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
