She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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