listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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