Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
