grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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