Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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