Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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