operation have a gay friend backfired
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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