I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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