Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
