friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
