Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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