spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
