Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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