Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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