you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
