i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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