Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
