Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
