Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
