Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
