Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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