It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
