People with herpes should wear stickers.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
