Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
