captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize