R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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