There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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