How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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