32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
