Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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