You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize