Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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