Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize