I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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