yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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