Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
