is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
