Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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