I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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