dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
