I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize