I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
