You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
