Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
