All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
