So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
