is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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